How to Overcome the Fear of Writing and Embrace the Process

Are you afraid of writing? Do you struggle with putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboards? Check out the latest episode of the Lead with Levity podcast where we dive into overcoming the fear of writing. Learn how to give and accept feedback, handle toxic feedback, and know when your draft is done.

Stay tuned for insights from our guest Joni B. Cole.

Here are the top three takeaways:

• Feedback is key: Whether it’s positive or negative, feedback can help you improve your writing and build confidence. By seeking feedback from others and taking the time to reflect on it, you can learn how to communicate your ideas more effectively.

• Mindset matters: Writing can be daunting, but it’s important to approach it with a positive mindset. Instead of focusing on the fear of failure or rejection, try to embrace the process and enjoy the journey. Remember, writing is a skill that can be developed with practice.

• Know when to call it done: One of the biggest challenges of writing is knowing when to stop. But by setting clear goals and deadlines, you can avoid getting stuck in an endless cycle of revisions.

Trust your instincts and be confident in your work. Overall, this episode is a must-listen for anyone who wants to improve their writing skills and overcome their fear of the blank page.

So, grab your headphones and tune in to the Lead with Levity podcast today!

Writing—it’s something many of us learn as kids, but as adults, it can be one of the most intimidating tasks we face. Whether it’s an email, a report, a book, or even a social media post, putting words on paper (or a screen) often brings up feelings of fear, perfectionism, or vulnerability.

On the Lead with Levity podcast, Dr. Heather Walker tackled this topic with Joni B. Cole, author of Good Naked: How to Write More, Write Better, and Be Happier and Toxic Feedback: Helping Writers Survive and Thrive. Joni shared actionable strategies for overcoming writing fears, giving and receiving feedback, and finding joy in the writing process. Let’s dive in.

Why Writing Can Feel So Scary

Writing often feels personal. It involves sharing ideas, opinions, or parts of yourself that others might critique. For some, this fear can become paralyzing, leading to procrastination or a refusal to write altogether.

Joni explains, “Fear in writing often looks like not writing.” Many of us are afraid to put down that first imperfect draft, but here’s the truth: All writing begins with a messy first draft. That draft doesn’t have to be good—it just has to exist. Revision is where the magic happens, but you can’t revise something that isn’t there.

Key Takeaways to Overcome the Fear of Writing

Here are Joni’s top tips for conquering writing-related anxiety and building confidence:

1. Embrace the Drafting Process

• Reframe the first draft as a “rehearsal draft.” It’s not meant to be perfect; it’s a starting point.
• Trust that writing is a process. You’ll have opportunities to refine and revise later.
• Write with the mantra: “Just have fun.”

2. Manage Feedback Thoughtfully

• Not all feedback is good feedback. Toxic feedback is often dismissive or harsh, offering little value.
• Learn to differentiate between helpful feedback and bad feedback. Use toxic feedback to identify lessons you can apply, but don’t let it undermine your confidence.
• Remember: You’re the boss of your story.

3. Give Better Feedback

Joni emphasized that most people aren’t taught how to give constructive feedback, which can lead to unnecessarily harsh critiques. Here’s how to do it better:

• Start with sincere, positive feedback. Point out what’s working and what’s engaging.
• Limit negative feedback to avoid overwhelming the writer.
• Use context to guide suggestions: “This section works well because of X, but Y could be improved by doing Z.”

The Role of Humor and Levity in Writing

Joni encourages writers to incorporate levity into their process. Humor doesn’t always mean making jokes—it’s about observing the humanity and quirks in everyday life. Humor can also make writing (and the feedback process) feel less intimidating.

Her advice: “When you get words on the page, they are good because now you have something to work with.”

Tips for Finding Joy in Writing

Even experienced writers like Joni use strategies to make writing enjoyable:

1. Create rituals. Light a candle, clear your desk, or set a timer for 20 minutes to focus on drafting.
2. Break it down. Instead of thinking, “I need to write a book,” give yourself smaller, manageable goals like writing a single page.
3. Celebrate progress. Every word you write is a step forward.
4. Use prompts. When stuck, try a writing prompt to jumpstart your creativity.

When Is Writing Done?

Knowing when to stop revising can be tricky. Joni suggests:

• Take a break. Distance yourself from your work and revisit it with fresh eyes.
• Seek feedback. Trusted peers can provide insights that help you decide when your piece is ready.
• Listen to your instincts. If nothing stands out as needing improvement, it’s likely time to let it go.

Why Feedback Matters

Feedback, when done well, is a gift. It not only helps improve a specific piece of writing but also teaches lessons that writers can carry forward into future projects. As Joni points out, “Good feedback has a buoyancy to it. It uplifts everyone involved.”

About Joni B. Cole

Joni B. Cole is the author of two books for writers: Good Naked: How to Write More, Write Better, and Be Happier (University of New Mexico Press , 2022); and Toxic Feedback: Helping Writers Survive and Thrive (UNM Press, May, 2023). She is also the author of Another Bad-Dog Book: Essays on Life, Love, and Neurotic Human Behavior. Her newest essay collection (title and cover reveal soon!) is forthcoming in fall 2023. In work and life, Joni looks for the extraordinary in the ordinary, the wonder, humor, and mystery in everyday moments. This focus inspired her to create the three-volume “This Day” series that shares a day in the life of hundreds of women across America and from all walks of life (“fascinating and eye-opening” —Publishers Weekly).

To learn more about Joni B. Cole, check out https://www.jonibcole.com/