One topic that resonated deeply this year was rejection—a universal experience that can shape the way we see ourselves and interact with others.

In the latest episode of the Lead with Levity podcast, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Leslie Becker Phelps, a psychologist, author, and expert in helping people navigate rejection and insecurity. Her book, Bouncing Back from Rejection, offers practical insights and strategies to help us confront and grow from these challenging experiences.

Rejection is unavoidable, but how we process and respond to it makes all the difference. Dr. Becker Phelps emphasizes that rejection isn’t just about the external event—it’s often about how we internalize the experience. “Rejection is a subjective experience,” she explains. “Even if others might not see it as a big deal, how you perceive it shapes your reaction.”

The STEAM Model for Self-Awareness

Dr. Becker Phelps shared her STEAM model—a simple framework to enhance self-awareness and navigate challenging emotions.

• Sensations: Pay attention to physical cues in your body. Is your chest tight? Are your shoulders tense?
• Thoughts: What are you thinking, and how are those thoughts influencing your emotions?
• Emotions: Identify and label your feelings. Are you sad, angry, or anxious?
• Actions: What are your reactions, and how are they serving you?
• Mentalizing: Reflect on what’s happening within you and others. This fosters empathy and deeper understanding.

Using STEAM, you can break down overwhelming experiences into manageable parts, giving you clarity and control over your reactions.

Here are three key takeaways from this episode that I think you’ll find incredibly valuable:

Compassionate Self-Awareness: Dr. Becker-Phelps emphasizes the importance of getting to know ourselves in a compassionate way. Instead of being critical, we should aim to understand ourselves better and use that knowledge to lead a full and healthy life.

Reflection and Growth: As we approach the end of the year, it’s the perfect time to reflect on the past and set intentions for the future. Take the opportunity to think about how you’ve responded to rejection in the past and consider how you want to show up differently in the coming year. 

Mentalizing Others: Dr. Becker-Phelps suggests practicing mentalizing, which is the act of understanding and empathizing with others. By putting ourselves in their shoes, we can improve our interactions and relationships. 

I hope these takeaways pique your interest and inspire you to listen to this insightful episode. Rejection is a natural part of the human experience, and learning how to bounce back from it can truly transform our lives. 

So grab your headphones and tune in to this thought-provoking conversation with Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps. You won’t want to miss it! 

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and insights after listening. Feel free to leave a comment or send me a message. Let’s keep the conversation going! 

Happy listening and here’s to bouncing back from rejection!

Connect with Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps

• Bouncing Back from Rejection by Dr. Leslie Becker Phelps
• Dr. Becker Phelps’ YouTube Channel (with bite-sized insights on rejection and resilience)
• Dr. Becker Phelps’ Website