We’re experiencing a lot of turnover and movement across the job market right now. People are leaving their jobs in droves in search of better cultures, better supervisors, and better opportunities. What can you do to avoid becoming a casualty of the #GreatResignation?
Tune in, because Dr. Beverly Kaye and I unpack the 4 letter word that seems to be missing right now–L.O.V.E.–and what that looks like at work.
We talk about:
- Why love at work isn’t such a dirty word
- How you can incorporate love into your leadership style
- Why your employees need to know what you love about them and their work
- How love connects to inclusion and employee engagement
- Ways that you can tell someone that you appreciate them
- And more!
Would You Rather…? A Fun Start with Dr. Bev
We kicked things off with a playful round of “Would You Rather” questions:
- Would you rather travel the world on a boat or stay in Los Angeles with everything you need?
Dr. Bev’s answer? She’s happy to stay put in LA. “LA all the way,” she said, “though maybe with some 50-mile-radius side trips!” - Would you rather solve problems with your head or heart?
“Absolutely my heart,” Dr. Bev replied without hesitation. - What’s better, love or money?
“Love, love, love,” she emphasized—a sentiment that ties beautifully into her work.
Why Love is a Workplace Superpower
Dr. Bev champions the idea of bringing love to work—yes, the four-letter word love. But as she explains, this isn’t the romantic kind of love; it’s about acknowledging, appreciating, and growing your people.
“Love means noticing people, thanking them, recognizing their contributions, and helping them grow,” she said.
Her book Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em was revolutionary when it debuted 20 years ago, and its message is just as powerful today. Dr. Bev recalled how her publisher initially hesitated to include the word “love” in the title. “We had to stand firm because it was the only word that captured everything we were trying to say.”
The Link Between Love, Diversity, and Inclusion
In its latest edition, Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em connects the concept of engagement with inclusion. Dr. Bev explained:
“When we looked at our work through the lens of inclusion and belonging, it became clear that every chapter in the book is about creating an inclusive culture.”
For managers, this means showing employees that they are valued for who they are. Asking thoughtful questions like “What does appreciation look like to you?” or “How can I best say thank you?” can go a long way in fostering a sense of belonging.
Praise with Specificity: A Simple Way to Show Love
Generic praise like “Good job!” doesn’t cut it, according to Dr. Bev. She shared one of her favorite techniques to make praise more impactful:
- Use Specific Sentence Starters. For example:
- “You really made my day when you…”
- “You hit the nail on the head when I saw you…”
- “What part of this project did you enjoy most?”
These small tweaks turn a generic compliment into a meaningful conversation about strengths and accomplishments. It’s a simple yet profound way to make people feel seen and valued.
Levity and Love: A Perfect Pair
We explored the connection between love and levity in the workplace. Dr. Bev emphasized the importance of having fun at work, sharing an anecdote about an employee who left a company after being scolded for laughing in the hallway.
“It’s important to bring kicks and fun into the workplace. People need joy to stay engaged and connected.”
Dr. Bev even wrote a piece titled “Why Do People Bring Their Dogs to Work but Not Their Love?” It’s a poignant reminder to bring both our compassion and our humor to work.
Are We in a Love Recession?
Dr. Bev touched on the idea of a “love recession” in today’s world. After a year of isolation and remote work, many people are craving human connection. For workplaces, this means rethinking how teams interact and how leaders can foster a sense of community.
“We get so much from our workgroups that we didn’t realize until it was taken away. Love and connection matter more than ever.”
Practical Takeaways for Leaders
Dr. Bev’s advice for managers is simple but impactful:
- Ask, Don’t Assume. Use tools like the table of contents from Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em to ask employees what they need most.
- Tailor Praise. Be specific and thoughtful in your compliments.
- Infuse Fun. Don’t underestimate the power of humor and joy in the workplace.
- Foster Belonging. Make diversity, equity, and inclusion part of everyday interactions, not just policies.
About Dr. Beverly Kaye
Beverly Kaye‘s name is recognized internationally as a professional dedicated to helping individuals, managers and organizations understand the practical “how-to” principles of employee development, engagement and retention. Her books and learning materials have stood the test of time.
ATD honored her with their 2018 Lifetime Achievement Award recognizing her advanced knowledge and extensive practice across the talent development field. ISA (The Association of Learning Professionals) also honored her with their 2018 Thought Leadership Award for her body of work in support of work-related learning and performance. Through Beverly’s advocacy of ideas and commitment to actions, she has not only positively influenced clients and industry colleagues but has facilitated respect for the learning and performance industry overall.
Beverly’s recent books in the career development field included Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go which provided overwhelmed managers with a way to blend career conversations into their everyday routine. Her most recent book Up is Not the Only Way was directed at managers and individuals and highlighted the career choices that were available other than the traditional career ladder.
Her contribution to the field of engagement and retention included the Wall Street Journal bestseller, Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em which offered managers 26 strategies for engaging and retaining their key talent. Love It, Don’t Leave It provided similar advice to individuals about how to take responsibility for their own work satisfaction. Hello Stay Interviews, Goodbye Talent Loss suggested an approach to using the idea of stay interviews to stem the tide of exit interviews.
Beverly received her doctorate from UCLA in 1976 and founded Career Systems International, an organization dedicated to offering managers and employees practical learning solutions and consulting that enables organizations focus on their talent. As part of her own focus on talent, she recently transitioned its ownership to two key members of her leadership team. She supports the rebranded enterprise, Talent Dimensions, who delivers and expands on her thought leadership.
About the Lead with Levity Podcast
The Lead with Levity podcast is a show for leaders who care deeply about what makes/breaks the employee experience. Our guests are dynamic researchers, practitioners, consultants, and business leaders. We cover foundational elements that are needed to avoid forcing the fun. We also invite lively managers who lead with levity to show us how it’s done. Thanks for joining us on this journey.
