We’re going to talk about this concept of overwhelm today. If you’re the type of person who says yes to all of the opportunities and is carrying more weight than one person can handle, then this episode is for you.
Join me and Elayne Fluker, host of the Support is Sexy podcast as we unpack how burnout starts from within and what you can do to get out from under the weight of everything you signed up to do.
In this episode, we cover:
- Current workplace trends, what you need to know
- How do you know if you’re stuck versus settling? Questions you need to ask yourself
- Ways to overcome feeling stuck
- Signs and symptoms that you’ve taken on too much responsibility
- Tips that will help you stop forgetting things
- Why support is sexy
- The 3D’s that prevent others from helping you – Defiant, Defensive, Defeated
- Being defiant, defeated, or defensive, how to overcome it?
- Don’t forget to Ask For:
H – ”H” is “having it all doesn’t mean doing it alone”
E – “E” is to “ask empowering questions”
L – “L” is to “live that question and let go of the how”
P – “P” in the framework is about “believing in the possible”
The Myth of “I Got It”
When you’re a high performer, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking no one can deliver the same quality of work as you. After all, you’re working nights, weekends, and early mornings to get it all done. You’ve created an illusion of productivity that no one else seems able to match.
But here’s the truth: this isn’t sustainable. The more you take on, the better you get—and the harder it becomes to delegate. You’re left doing everything yourself, making it nearly impossible to scale your efforts or step back to focus on strategic, high-level work.
What’s worse, this cycle of overwork can lead to resentment toward others who seem to have better work-life balance.
Meet Elaine Fluker
To help us break free from this cycle, I had the pleasure of speaking with Elaine Fluker, author of Get Over “I Got It” and host of the Support is Sexy podcast. Elaine is a sought-after speaker who’s been featured on Forbes, NPR, CNN, and more. She specializes in helping high achievers rethink how they approach their work and build the support systems they need to thrive.
We covered some powerful topics in our conversation, including:
- How to recognize when you’re stuck versus when you’re simply settling.
- Why it’s so hard to ask for help and how to get over that hurdle.
- How to create a vision for yourself that aligns with your goals and values.
- How to tell when you’ve crossed the line from healthy productivity into burnout—and what to do to reverse it.
Are You Stuck or Just Settling?
One of the first questions Elaine suggests asking yourself is: How do I really feel about my work right now?
Are you stuck because you don’t know what to do next, or are you settling because everything feels “okay” and you’re riding the wave for now? Sometimes, settling is perfectly fine—especially if you need a break. But if you feel stuck, it’s time for some self-reflection.
Ask yourself:
- What brings me joy in my work?
- What tasks drain my energy, and which ones energize me?
- How can I do more of what lights me up and delegate or eliminate the rest?
Signs You’re Doing Too Much
If you’ve crossed the line from productivity into overwhelm, you might notice these red flags:
- Exhaustion: You wake up tired, no matter how much sleep you get.
- Forgetfulness: You’re dropping balls or struggling to stay present.
- Dependency on Stimulants: You rely on caffeine or energy drinks to power through the day and need melatonin or other aids to sleep at night.
- Resentment: You feel frustrated that no one else is helping or stepping up.
If this sounds familiar, it’s time to re-evaluate your workload—and your approach to getting support.
How to Ask for Help
Elaine shared her powerful HELP acronym to guide you in letting others support you:
- H: Having it all doesn’t mean doing it all alone.
It’s okay to admit you need help. In fact, it’s essential for your well-being and effectiveness. - E: Empower yourself with the right questions.
Instead of asking, “Why am I so bad at this?” ask, “What do I need to feel supported? Who can I turn to for help?” - L: Let go of the how.
Be open to different ways of achieving your goals. You don’t need to micromanage every detail. - P: Believe in the possibilities.
Adopt a mindset that focuses on what’s possible, not just what’s probable. Trust that support will come when you’re open to receiving it.
Finding Balance
If you’re the strong one who feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, Elaine has a message for you: Your identity is not tied to how much you can handle. It’s okay to be strong, but strength doesn’t mean doing everything yourself. True strength is knowing when to lean on others.
About Elayne Fluker
Elayne Fluker is author of Get Over ‘I Got It’: How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn’t Mean Doing It All Alone – published by HarperCollins Leadership and named a Forbes Book of the Month. She blends compelling research, practical exercises and inspiring stories of more than a dozen women who share how learning to accept support changed their lives. Get Over ‘I Got It’ teaches unapologetically ambitious women how to view support as a superpower – not a weakness – and embrace it as a key to success and fulfillment at work and in life.
Elayne has worked with Hewlett-Packard, American Express, Bain & Company, Forbes, United Nations, LinkedIn, Columbia University, NYU, the Women Presidents Organization and more. She has facilitated 200+ workshops for thousands of attendees in the U.S., Spain, South Africa, Morocco and globally online.
A journalist and media personality for over 20 years, Elayne has been a guest on CNN, TODAY, Nightline, NPR, HLN, BET and Sirius XM, and she has been featured in Forbes, Essence, Martha Stewart Living, Black Enterprise, Philadelphia Tribune and more than 100 podcasts.
